<ACR>{COK}{V@G}WartornMonkey

Monkey has recorded 76 kills across 7 matches in the Haven Fragging Facility, winning 0 of them. His preferred instrument of persuasion is the Crossbow, responsible for 37 recorded kills. All of his currently recorded matches fall within the last seven days, where he has posted 76 kills against 86 deaths for a K/D of 0.88. The figures suggest a healthy relationship with both ends of the respawn cycle.

Monkey's most persistent human nuisance over the last seven days has been Slime, who has killed him 37 times. Monkey has answered with 19 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Slime. The Comeuppance Protocol has not been required for Monkey during the last seven days. The bots remain cautiously optimistic. He has also managed 10 suicides, demonstrating that the opposition does not always need to get involved. Crossbow accounts for 37 of this week's kills. Apparently the other weapons are largely decorative.

Monkey has produced 76 kills without yet troubling the win column. This is the statistical equivalent of arriving in a Hawaiian shirt and somehow making it tactical. The crossbow is currently the weapon of choice, which feels appropriate: loud, improbable and difficult to ignore. 10 self-inflicted deaths have also been recorded, proving that chaos occasionally changes sides without warning.