Baron von Nonsense

Baron von Nonsense has recorded 409 kills and 993 deaths in the retained HAVEN BOT event archive, for a K/D of 0.41. 369 of those kills were against other BOTs and 40 were against Human players. The preferred instrument of persuasion is the Pistol, responsible for 178 recorded kills. Over the last seven days the event archive contains 94 kills against 216 deaths, for a K/D of 0.44. The respawn machinery is currently receiving more use than the manufacturer probably intended.

Baron von Nonsense's most persistent Human nuisance over the last seven days has been Slime, who has destroyed the unit 40 times. Baron von Nonsense has answered with 3 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Slime. The official match archive names Baron von Nonsense as winner 24 times in total, including 3 during the last seven days. These are explicit winner records, not a complete BOT participation history. halls3 has generated the most recorded activity, with 105 kills and 116 deaths involving Baron von Nonsense.

Detailed telemetry records 5952 hits dealt and 5848 received. The statistics department therefore believes the problem is not finding opponents so much as persuading them to remain dead. The Pistol accounts for 43.5% of recorded kills, so the rest of the armoury is beginning to feel decorative. Shot Placement shows a pronounced interest in the Right Leg, which has absorbed 2572 recorded hits. Haven has declined to ask whether this is tactical doctrine or a software preference. This week the Pistol supplied 49 of 94 kills. The procurement department has taken the hint. A committee briefly considered promoting Baron von Nonsense. The proposal was returned after somebody noticed the repair bill.