The Upper-Class Twit

The Upper-Class Twit has recorded 376 kills and 962 deaths in the retained HAVEN BOT event archive, for a K/D of 0.39. 326 of those kills were against other BOTs and 50 were against Human players. The preferred instrument of persuasion is the Pistol, responsible for 190 recorded kills. Over the last seven days the event archive contains 113 kills against 255 deaths, for a K/D of 0.44. The respawn machinery is currently receiving more use than the manufacturer probably intended.

The Upper-Class Twit's most persistent Human nuisance over the last seven days has been Slime, who has destroyed the unit 64 times. The Upper-Class Twit has answered with 3 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Slime. Bearingup has been The Upper-Class Twit's favourite Human target, having been dispatched 5 times during the same period. The official match archive names The Upper-Class Twit as winner 31 times in total, including 10 during the last seven days. These are explicit winner records, not a complete BOT participation history. dm_zest has generated the most recorded activity, with 140 kills and 176 deaths involving The Upper-Class Twit.

Detailed telemetry records 5715 hits dealt and 5117 received. The statistics department therefore believes the problem is not finding opponents so much as persuading them to remain dead. The Pistol accounts for 50.5% of recorded kills, so the rest of the armoury is beginning to feel decorative. Shot Placement shows a pronounced interest in the Right Leg, which has absorbed 2619 recorded hits. Haven has declined to ask whether this is tactical doctrine or a software preference. This week the Pistol supplied 55 of 113 kills. The procurement department has taken the hint. Engineering confirms that The Upper-Class Twit remains within normal BOT tolerances, although nobody is entirely sure who wrote the tolerances.