Sergeant Sausage

Sergeant Sausage has recorded 484 kills and 1236 deaths in the retained HAVEN BOT event archive, for a K/D of 0.39. 434 of those kills were against other BOTs and 50 were against Human players. The preferred instrument of persuasion is the SMG, responsible for 214 recorded kills. Over the last seven days the event archive contains 79 kills against 270 deaths, for a K/D of 0.29. The respawn machinery is currently receiving more use than the manufacturer probably intended.

Sergeant Sausage's most persistent Human nuisance over the last seven days has been Slime, who has destroyed the unit 68 times. Sergeant Sausage has answered with 6 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Slime. The official match archive names Sergeant Sausage as winner 22 times in total, including 5 during the last seven days. These are explicit winner records, not a complete BOT participation history. halls3 has generated the most recorded activity, with 175 kills and 187 deaths involving Sergeant Sausage.

Detailed telemetry records 7857 hits dealt and 7631 received. The statistics department therefore believes the problem is not finding opponents so much as persuading them to remain dead. The SMG accounts for 44.2% of recorded kills, so the rest of the armoury is beginning to feel decorative. Shot Placement shows a pronounced interest in the Right Leg, which has absorbed 3384 recorded hits. Haven has declined to ask whether this is tactical doctrine or a software preference. This week the Pistol supplied 42 of 79 kills. The procurement department has taken the hint. A committee briefly considered promoting Sergeant Sausage. The proposal was returned after somebody noticed the repair bill.