Lord Fumblebottom

Lord Fumblebottom has recorded 313 kills and 1161 deaths in the retained HAVEN BOT event archive, for a K/D of 0.27. 261 of those kills were against other BOTs and 52 were against Human players. The preferred instrument of persuasion is the SMG, responsible for 138 recorded kills. Over the last seven days the event archive contains 61 kills against 284 deaths, for a K/D of 0.21. The respawn machinery is currently receiving more use than the manufacturer probably intended.

Lord Fumblebottom's most persistent Human nuisance over the last seven days has been Slime, who has destroyed the unit 88 times. Lord Fumblebottom has answered with 2 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Slime. Sir Digby has been Lord Fumblebottom's favourite Human target, having been dispatched 5 times during the same period. The official match archive names Lord Fumblebottom as winner 16 times in total, including 5 during the last seven days. These are explicit winner records, not a complete BOT participation history. dm_zest has generated the most recorded activity, with 74 kills and 73 deaths involving Lord Fumblebottom.

Detailed telemetry records 5676 hits dealt and 5264 received. The statistics department therefore believes the problem is not finding opponents so much as persuading them to remain dead. The SMG accounts for 44.1% of recorded kills, so the rest of the armoury is beginning to feel decorative. Shot Placement shows a pronounced interest in the Right Leg, which has absorbed 2152 recorded hits. Haven has declined to ask whether this is tactical doctrine or a software preference. This week the Pistol supplied 30 of 61 kills. The procurement department has taken the hint. The Automated Personnel Department has reviewed Lord Fumblebottom's figures and stamped the file 'OPERATIONAL, WITH NOTES'. Nobody has volunteered to explain the notes.