Professor Trousers

Professor Trousers has recorded 419 kills and 1012 deaths in the retained HAVEN BOT event archive, for a K/D of 0.41. 376 of those kills were against other BOTs and 43 were against Human players. The preferred instrument of persuasion is the Pistol, responsible for 169 recorded kills. Over the last seven days the event archive contains 69 kills against 196 deaths, for a K/D of 0.35. The respawn machinery is currently receiving more use than the manufacturer probably intended.

Professor Trousers's most persistent Human nuisance over the last seven days has been Slime, who has destroyed the unit 48 times. Professor Trousers has answered with 5 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Slime. The official match archive names Professor Trousers as winner 24 times in total, including 3 during the last seven days. These are explicit winner records, not a complete BOT participation history. halls3 has generated the most recorded activity, with 111 kills and 122 deaths involving Professor Trousers.

Detailed telemetry records 5527 hits dealt and 5538 received. The statistics department therefore believes the problem is not finding opponents so much as persuading them to remain dead. The Pistol accounts for 40.3% of recorded kills, so the rest of the armoury is beginning to feel decorative. Shot Placement shows a pronounced interest in the Right Leg, which has absorbed 2402 recorded hits. Haven has declined to ask whether this is tactical doctrine or a software preference. A committee briefly considered promoting Professor Trousers. The proposal was returned after somebody noticed the repair bill.