Sir Lags-a-Lot

Sir Lags-a-Lot has recorded 440 kills and 1158 deaths in the retained HAVEN BOT event archive, for a K/D of 0.38. 399 of those kills were against other BOTs and 41 were against Human players. The preferred instrument of persuasion is the Pistol, responsible for 207 recorded kills. Over the last seven days the event archive contains 52 kills against 161 deaths, for a K/D of 0.32. The respawn machinery is currently receiving more use than the manufacturer probably intended.

Sir Lags-a-Lot's most persistent Human nuisance over the last seven days has been Slime, who has destroyed the unit 48 times. Sir Lags-a-Lot has answered with 1 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Slime. Stacie has been Sir Lags-a-Lot's favourite Human target, having been dispatched 1 times during the same period. The official match archive names Sir Lags-a-Lot as winner 23 times in total, including 4 during the last seven days. These are explicit winner records, not a complete BOT participation history. halls3 has generated the most recorded activity, with 142 kills and 144 deaths involving Sir Lags-a-Lot.

Detailed telemetry records 7040 hits dealt and 6719 received. The statistics department therefore believes the problem is not finding opponents so much as persuading them to remain dead. The Pistol accounts for 47.0% of recorded kills, so the rest of the armoury is beginning to feel decorative. Shot Placement shows a pronounced interest in the Right Leg, which has absorbed 2966 recorded hits. Haven has declined to ask whether this is tactical doctrine or a software preference. The Automated Personnel Department has reviewed Sir Lags-a-Lot's figures and stamped the file 'OPERATIONAL, WITH NOTES'. Nobody has volunteered to explain the notes.