Chancellor Wibble

Chancellor Wibble has recorded 419 kills and 811 deaths in the retained HAVEN BOT event archive, for a K/D of 0.52. 384 of those kills were against other BOTs and 35 were against Human players. The preferred instrument of persuasion is the Pistol, responsible for 215 recorded kills. Over the last seven days the event archive contains 78 kills against 188 deaths, for a K/D of 0.41. The respawn machinery is currently receiving more use than the manufacturer probably intended.

Chancellor Wibble's most persistent Human nuisance over the last seven days has been Slime, who has destroyed the unit 43 times. Chancellor Wibble has answered with 0 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Slime. Sir Digby has been Chancellor Wibble's favourite Human target, having been dispatched 2 times during the same period. The official match archive names Chancellor Wibble as winner 44 times in total, including 5 during the last seven days. These are explicit winner records, not a complete BOT participation history. dm_zest has generated the most recorded activity, with 110 kills and 118 deaths involving Chancellor Wibble.

Detailed telemetry records 5896 hits dealt and 4452 received. The statistics department therefore believes the problem is not finding opponents so much as persuading them to remain dead. The Pistol accounts for 51.3% of recorded kills, so the rest of the armoury is beginning to feel decorative. Shot Placement shows a pronounced interest in the Right Leg, which has absorbed 2740 recorded hits. Haven has declined to ask whether this is tactical doctrine or a software preference. This week the Pistol supplied 50 of 78 kills. The procurement department has taken the hint. A committee briefly considered promoting Chancellor Wibble. The proposal was returned after somebody noticed the repair bill.