The Unexpected Spaniard

The Unexpected Spaniard has recorded 473 kills and 1255 deaths in the retained HAVEN BOT event archive, for a K/D of 0.38. 428 of those kills were against other BOTs and 45 were against Human players. The preferred instrument of persuasion is the Pistol, responsible for 211 recorded kills. Over the last seven days the event archive contains 90 kills against 277 deaths, for a K/D of 0.32. The respawn machinery is currently receiving more use than the manufacturer probably intended.

The Unexpected Spaniard's most persistent Human nuisance over the last seven days has been Slime, who has destroyed the unit 87 times. The Unexpected Spaniard has answered with 5 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Slime. Monkey has been The Unexpected Spaniard's favourite Human target, having been dispatched 5 times during the same period. The official match archive names The Unexpected Spaniard as winner 29 times in total, including 5 during the last seven days. These are explicit winner records, not a complete BOT participation history. halls3 has generated the most recorded activity, with 137 kills and 153 deaths involving The Unexpected Spaniard.

Detailed telemetry records 8276 hits dealt and 7871 received. The statistics department therefore believes the problem is not finding opponents so much as persuading them to remain dead. The Pistol accounts for 44.6% of recorded kills, so the rest of the armoury is beginning to feel decorative. Shot Placement shows a pronounced interest in the Right Leg, which has absorbed 3695 recorded hits. Haven has declined to ask whether this is tactical doctrine or a software preference. This week the Pistol supplied 46 of 90 kills. The procurement department has taken the hint. The Automated Personnel Department has reviewed The Unexpected Spaniard's figures and stamped the file 'OPERATIONAL, WITH NOTES'. Nobody has volunteered to explain the notes.