Lord Piddlewick

Lord Piddlewick has recorded 480 kills and 1047 deaths in the retained HAVEN BOT event archive, for a K/D of 0.46. 430 of those kills were against other BOTs and 50 were against Human players. The preferred instrument of persuasion is the SMG, responsible for 199 recorded kills. Over the last seven days the event archive contains 96 kills against 190 deaths, for a K/D of 0.51. The maintenance department remains cautiously optimistic.

Lord Piddlewick's most persistent Human nuisance over the last seven days has been Slime, who has destroyed the unit 24 times. Lord Piddlewick has answered with 4 kills, meaning the paperwork currently favours Slime. The official match archive names Lord Piddlewick as winner 27 times in total, including 10 during the last seven days. These are explicit winner records, not a complete BOT participation history. halls3 has generated the most recorded activity, with 117 kills and 111 deaths involving Lord Piddlewick.

Detailed telemetry records 8056 hits dealt and 7567 received. The statistics department therefore believes the problem is not finding opponents so much as persuading them to remain dead. The SMG accounts for 41.5% of recorded kills, so the rest of the armoury is beginning to feel decorative. Shot Placement shows a pronounced interest in the Right Leg, which has absorbed 3872 recorded hits. Haven has declined to ask whether this is tactical doctrine or a software preference. This week the Pistol supplied 48 of 96 kills. The procurement department has taken the hint. Engineering confirms that Lord Piddlewick remains within normal BOT tolerances, although nobody is entirely sure who wrote the tolerances.