Leaderboard Rank
#6
Official HAVEN order: wins, then kills.
PERSONNEL FILE · ACCOUNT 1,144,902,992
PERSONNEL DEPARTMENT
The noise causes cancer.
Recorded Combatant
OFFICIAL SERVICE RECORD
Ranked Career
Completed ranked HAVEN matches only.
Ranked Matches
20
Completed ranked matches.
Wins
4
Official ranked victories.
Kills
330
Historical ranked total.
Deaths
127
Historical ranked total.
Suicides
16
Recorded ranked suicides.
Frags
314
Kills after frag penalties.
K/D
2.60
20.00% ranked win rate.
ARMOURY RECORD
Ranked Weapons
Historical ranked kills using HAVEN's canonical weapon catalogue.
| # | Weapon | Kills | Recorded token |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 |
.357 Magnum
Sidearm
|
248 | 357 |
| 2 |
Crossbow
Precision
|
60 | crossbow_bolt |
| 3 |
Explosion
Environmental
|
5 | env_explosion |
| 4 |
SMG
Automatic
|
5 | smg1 |
| 5 |
SMG Grenade
Explosive
|
5 | smg1_grenade |
| 6 |
Combine Pulse Rifle
Rifle
|
2 | ar2 |
| 7 |
Fragmentation Grenade
Explosive
|
1 | grenade_frag |
| 8 |
Pistol
Sidearm
|
1 | pistol |
| 9 |
S.L.A.M.
Explosive
|
1 | slam |
| 10 |
Shotgun
Shotgun
|
1 | shotgun |
| 11 |
Stunstick
Melee
|
1 | stunstick |
FACILITY DEPLOYMENTS
Ranked Map Record
Performance grouped by recorded map name.
| Map | Matches | Wins | Kills | Deaths | Frags | Win Rate |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| dm_underpass | 3 | 0 | 17 | 19 | 14 | 0.00% |
| dm_steamlab | 2 | 0 | 75 | 47 | 71 | 0.00% |
| dm_zest | 1 | 1 | 51 | 5 | 50 | 100.00% |
| dm_ancient_ob_1 | 1 | 1 | 50 | 2 | 50 | 100.00% |
| dm_runoff | 1 | 1 | 38 | 10 | 36 | 100.00% |
| dm_blackjack_mine_v2 | 1 | 1 | 18 | 2 | 17 | 100.00% |
| dm_overwatch | 1 | 0 | 17 | 2 | 17 | 0.00% |
| dm_streetwar | 1 | 0 | 16 | 14 | 13 | 0.00% |
| dm_rapidfire | 1 | 0 | 12 | 7 | 12 | 0.00% |
| dm_snipe_bunkergrass2 | 1 | 0 | 9 | 4 | 9 | 0.00% |
| dm_forest_of_pain_final | 1 | 0 | 8 | 6 | 8 | 0.00% |
| dm_italian_village_bm | 1 | 0 | 6 | 1 | 6 | 0.00% |
| dm_hazoe | 1 | 0 | 5 | 3 | 5 | 0.00% |
| dm_snipe_campx_lmht | 1 | 0 | 4 | 4 | 3 | 0.00% |
| dm_bridge_to_nowhere_big | 1 | 0 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 0.00% |
| dm_xbow_chaos_v2 | 1 | 0 | 2 | 0 | 2 | 0.00% |
| dm_fxbow_final | 1 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0.00% |
INTERNAL MEMO
Haven Field Report
Deterministic assessment generated from recorded HAVEN statistics.
SERVICE RECORD: The noise causes cancer. has 330 ranked career kills across 20 completed ranked matches, including 4 wins. The most-used killing instrument is the .357 Magnum (248 ranked kills). These figures are official; the conclusions remain under review.
ACTIVE INVESTIGATION - MISSING PERSONNEL REPORT: No completed ranked appearances were recorded for The noise causes cancer. during the past seven days. The attendance ledger remains conspicuously quiet.
DEPARTMENTAL VERDICT: Further investigation has been approved, provided someone else completes the paperwork.
RECENT OPERATIONS
Recent Ranked Matches
Ten most recent completed ranked records.
| Ended | Map | Result | K | D | S | F | Recorded Winner |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 21 Oct 2026 16:15 | dm_zest | WIN | 51 | 5 | 1 | 50 | The noise causes cancer. |
| 19 Oct 2026 18:57 | dm_snipe_campx_lmht | OTHER | 4 | 4 | 1 | 3 | Slime |
| 19 Oct 2026 18:45 | dm_snipe_bunkergrass2 | OTHER | 9 | 4 | 0 | 9 | Slime |
| 17 Oct 2026 23:39 | dm_bridge_to_nowhere_big | OTHER | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | Not recorded |
| 17 Oct 2026 23:18 | dm_blackjack_mine_v2 | WIN | 18 | 2 | 1 | 17 | The noise causes cancer. |
| 17 Oct 2026 20:57 | dm_xbow_chaos_v2 | OTHER | 2 | 0 | 0 | 2 | FUBARED21 |
| 17 Oct 2026 20:37 | dm_fxbow_final | OTHER | 0 | 0 | 0 | 0 | Slime |
| 14 Oct 2026 16:58 | dm_forest_of_pain_final | OTHER | 8 | 6 | 0 | 8 | Slime |
| 09 Oct 2026 20:10 | dm_underpass | OTHER | 7 | 4 | 1 | 6 | Slime |
| 09 Oct 2026 19:57 | dm_hazoe | OTHER | 5 | 3 | 0 | 5 | Slime |
RECORDED DISTANCE TELEMETRY
Personal Records
Longest and shortest successful
recorded kills.
Longest Recorded Kill
71.16 m
.357 Magnum
vs Sir Digby Chicken Caesar (GBR) · dm_runoff
Recorded 2026-09-28
Shortest Recorded Kill
0.66 m
.357 Magnum
vs Brian'sSpareSandal · dm_runoff
Recorded 2026-09-28
Distance Records by Weapon
| Weapon | Longest | Shortest | Kills measured |
|---|---|---|---|
.357 Magnum |
71.16 m | 0.66 m | 262 |
AR2 |
7.66 m | 4.72 m | 2 |
Crossbow Bolt |
60.58 m | 0.87 m | 60 |
Env Explosion |
20.87 m | 2.26 m | 5 |
Grenade |
24.93 m | 24.93 m | 1 |
Pistol |
6.81 m | 6.81 m | 1 |
Shotgun |
2.60 m | 2.60 m | 1 |
SLAM |
1.30 m | 1.30 m | 1 |
SMG1 |
8.22 m | 0.92 m | 5 |
Smg1 Grenade |
16.99 m | 5.99 m | 5 |
Stunstick |
1.38 m | 1.38 m | 1 |
Distances are retained internally in
Source units and displayed here as
approximate metres using
52.4934 Source units per metre.
Missing, zero and self-kill distances
are excluded.
Measured opponent kills:
344.